My time is for me

Hello Friday! Yes, it's the weekend and I'm happy about that. I'm looking forward to a day off tomorrow, but still have to work on Sunday since I switched days for my manager. While I'm home I'm just ruminating on what the counselor said to me yesterday. I get so sidetracked from my purpose sometimes. I know what I need to do, so why do I not want to do it then? I am afraid of change, although as a dear friend and co-worker said to me today....change is a good thing. I should not despise it...yet I do. I guess all the years of lying and mistreatment did not phase a cool cat like myself...I'm not too sexy for my shirt, I'm just too damn stupid for my brain! How bout that? lol Gasp....my life is not horrible I can deal with so much, because I have such a kind heavenly father who let's me throw my burden's upon him, but yet I am empty when my husband is around. He has no interest in me other than what he can get and how it effects his life or situation it seems. I need my life to revolve around the good things, not the negative. So much time wasted on concentrating on what everyone else needs. When is it my time? It seems this is it sitting here before the ass comes home from work, before he yells at me that I'm ignoring my kids and on the computer again...yes, I am on the computer but ignoring them noooooo never! They are in my sight at all times. I spend quality time with them, but this is my time...as long as they are not hanging by their toenails attached to a window or ceiling ....there good:) IMHO.... I love my babies...they are my life and two of my oldest are grown so having two small one's and a jackass for a husband, well you know I go a little in my WOMAN CAVE sometimes! More later the jerkoff is calling.....